The UK’s first ironic racism event.

Newcastle has a bit of an image problem today. It’s the first city in Britain to be hosting a Pegida rally.

Luckily there is a sizeable counter-rally on the go at the same time, and so alongside Jimmy Nail, brown ale and Viz, I hope that Newcastle will be remembered for hosting the first anti-Pegida march.

It would be nice to be able to just go “Oh well” to it. It’s a strange sight to see the union flag and the flag of St. George flying at a rally originated by – yes – Germans. It’s nice to see unity at last with our Anglo-Saxon cousins after a century of war and strife and buying all their cars and them buying our car manufacturers. Perhaps this event cements the growing trend towards accepting the Germans. All but the most moronic football fans and headline writers have stopped referring to the war. We seem to like bratwurst, weissbier, Aldi and German footballers now but the final missing link in the change was that our traditional British nationalists and racists still didn’t like them lot with their over-efficiency and bossing about Europe. At last they’ve converted. There is now a pan-European hate movement that has found common ground in thinking all Muslims are jihadis.

And of course, spokesmen and women for Pegida are making clear that they are NOT racist or fascist, so let’s not be confused. They just like using the rhetoric of discrimination and generalisation to tar all Muslims with the same, reasonable, they’re-all-fanatics, non-racist brush.

Let’s just be clear – Pegida, UKIP, BNP, Britain First – you need to find your inner collective fluffy bunny and ask what you have in common with other folks, especially if they are are a bit browner than you. They need food, they need love, they need work and they need the toilet – just like you.


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